The IRS Hates My Illegal Nonprofit

When the IRS scandal broke, I instantly worried about my recent application for exemption.

IRS

My nonprofit is an organization devoted to the advocacy of firearms for visitors in theme parks, specifically those such as Sea World and Six Flags Wild Safari, where animals typically present a danger.

Many of our members are members of the Republican and Tea Party, as one might expect in a gun advocacy group. Our group, while it does contribute to these political parties (being the likely groups to further our purpose), is not focused on the election, but rather our right to defend ourselves against rogue wildlife.

While Six Flags has compromised during negotiations with our group, to finally use regulated vehicles inside the safari, please note the open structure of the vehicle. This faulty design still allows dangerous animals to, in some circumstances, such as the giraffe, actually penetrate the vehicle.

Our group raises funds through the donation of boats, trucks, and Segways.

The IRS has targeted us based only on the fact that we support our American right to bear arms, implying that our sole purpose is not to arm our innocent children against groundhogs and the like, but is instead politically motivated. They have bombarded me with all kinds of ridiculous questions and paperwork, like asking me what theme park our boats and Segways originate from, what bingo chips we prefer to play with, and how much money we contribute to political campaigns annually.

My co-founder explains, “The Oppressive Regime is trying to imply that just because we are all Republicans and donate to Republican candidates, we are politically motivated.¬†My real problem with all of this is that the government has targeted us a lot more than other illegal groups.”

I would expect the government to be above this kind of petty partisanism. I am still waiting for a response from the IRS regarding our status, and in the meantime, many minors are suffering from allergies relating to animal encounters and mascot-related molestations.

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